The Great Tissue Scandal: How Disinformation Hit Rock Bottom on a Train to Kyiv

Three Men and a Cocaine Story

Just when you think the disinformation mills couldn’t possibly get any more desperate, they surprise you. This time, the grand scandal wasn’t about secret meetings or encrypted bank transfers. It centered around a tissue and a plastic coffee stirrer—apparently now items of great geopolitical consequence.

It began aboard a diplomatic train to Kyiv. French President Emmanuel Macron, German Chancellor Friedrich Merz, and British PM Keir Starmer were sharing a quiet moment. At one point, Macron calmly picked up a tissue, didn’t use it, and after a pause, casually slipped it into his pocket. Across the table, Merz handled a coffee stirrer, simply fiddling with it—no dramatic handovers, no secretive glances. Just three men, a tissue, and a plastic stick.

But in the age of disinformation, that was more than enough. Pro-Russian channels pounced, spinning a narrative that would be laughable if it weren’t so calculated. The tissue? Clearly a concealed packet of cocaine. The stirrer? Drug paraphernalia, obviously. A completely ordinary moment became yet another viral “scandal” feeding the disinformation machine.

The French presidency responded with uncharacteristic mock, which I kinda liked:

But the speed with which this fabricated story spread tells a more serious tale. Disinformation today doesn’t need credible sources or even a coherent story—it just needs a freeze-frame and a crowd willing to believe anything that reinforces their worldview.

So yes, it was a tissue. Yes, it ended up in Macron’s pocket. And yes, Merz handled a coffee stirrer because—brace yourself—he had a drink. That’s the entire story.

The real concern isn’t the objects in the frame—it’s the machinery behind the camera, churning out these narratives to distract, divide, and destabilize.